I started out the year with the best of intentions, thinking I was going to do all kinds of prep work before I attempted my weight loss again. Now I think I was just unconsciously stalling. I haven’t even made a doctor’s appointment and I’ve had health insurance since 2010 began. (God that sounds weird. Where the fuck is my flying car, huh?) The month has literally run away from me. Well, and I let it, too.
So, screw it. I start tomorrow (I’m up late again by the way, not early), February 1. I like starting these things at the beginning–month, year, week, doesn’t matter. OK, it’s only the beginning of the week if you’re French, not that Monday doesn’t feel like the start of the week anyway, but you know what I mean. Or not. I don’t really care either way.
But yeah, my weight’s up around 250 now–I haven’t seen that number in quite a while. I’m beginning to be plagued by reflux way too often for my taste. (No pun intended.) My gut feels fatter than usual. To be honest, it’s kind of pissing me off.
Also, this is kinda gross, but I am not real big on bathing every day. I might be big in my clothes and big in chairs and big in my bed but on bathing, not so much. It is not that I set out to be the stereotypical stinky fat girl. I haven’t sussed out exactly what is going on and I don’t really care, I just know that in the summers I get too distracted to bathe every day and in winter it’s too damn cold. Between one and the other there’s maybe two days a week, three if I’m lucky, that I feel comfy being seen in public. All the other days my hair is some degree of greaseball. Yuck.
So when it gets about like that, I’ve sometimes been getting this weird rash in my left armpit. No bumps or anything, just red and sore. I thought, well, maybe I’m a little fatter on that side, and I sleep a lot on that side too. So when I let myself go, the germs set in. This hypothesis was bolstered by the fact that once I bathed, the rash went away for a little while.
Well, I had a pretty long dirty streak the past couple of weeks–no, I didn’t go two weeks without bathing, I just took longer stretches between showers than usual. You may have noticed the cold snap most of the U.S. and parts of Europe suffered through most of January. Yep, I was caught in that too. On top of everything else, we can’t run our central heating because we would wind up with a three-digit heating bill (cents not included) and a raging mold problem. So we’ve been making do with space heaters. So my aversion to bathing has gotten about a hundred times worse.
So the rash appeared in my armpit, and it got pretty nasty. I looked at it in the mirror a few days ago and suddenly it hit me. What the fuck is this? It looks like a yeast infection. I’ve seen enough of them that I’m really surprised I missed diagnosing this one for so long. When you’re a woman (although I haven’t been particularly plagued by them in the past) and you’ve had two kids who’ve been on antibiotics here and there, you kinda learn to know what you’re seeing when someone breaks out.
To test my hypothesis, I dug around and located an oldish tube of antifungal cream and applied it. Lo and behold, within twelve hours it began clearing up.
I didn’t share this tale to gross you out, although I’m pretty sure I grossed you out anyway. The point is that I’ve believed all along that my weight gain is related to deranged blood sugar. I don’t think I have been diabetic all this time, but something isn’t right.
Well, in the world of Symptoms We Would Rather Not See When Diabetes Runs In The Family, yeast infections pretty much top the list. Why? Because yeast loves sugar. Why would I have enough sugar in my system to be feeding yeast in my armpit? Because my fasting level’s probably testing high-normal, if not high in fact. I mean, I don’t sprinkle my bed with table sugar before I retire for the night. If I don’t get this under control soon, I think I will be in very big trouble.
So, yeah. Time to get back on the wagon. If I don’t stay on it this time, I’m a flaming asshole. And I tell ya, my armpit has already been halfway to flaming, waiting only for the rest of me to catch up. Yowch.
One of the plans I’d madestalling tactics I have employed in “preparing” to change my eating habits for the better is menu planning. Won’t get into huge detail about it just now but it was this huge job I was undertaking and it was really intimidating me. Not conducive to starting weight loss, lemme tell ya.
So a little while ago it finally hit me that I’m making this harder for myself than it has to be. Rather than try to collect all my favorite low-carb recipes in my laptop from which to do the meal planning, I will set up a week’s menu, dig up recipes for the foods I want to fix, see what we have in the house for ingredients and then go shopping. Just for the week. Someone in this house who makes a lot more than I do has been neglecting grocery shopping. He’s gonna do it next Friday, or I’m gonna know why not. As long as I can make it until then, I’m cool.
So yeah. Problem solved. Now I’m gonna fuckin’ sleep so I can tackle this later. Note to self: Plants vs. Zombies is not menu-planning. They only eat one thing: brains. You don’t like brains. So no more PvZ til we get this done. Love, Me.
Mmkay. For reals. Off to bed.
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